Are You Mad Extra?

Sometimes it seems like my 9th graders are speaking a foreign language and I definitely feel like a really old 36 when I have to ask them to translate their slang.

The first time they referred to me as “mad extra”, I was sure that it had to be a good thing... Extra means more and more is always better, right?

Wrong.

From what I’ve gathered (since I’m still learning), extra does mean more, but it is definitely not a good thing. They refer to people in this way when they are being too much of something. In my case, I was apparently being too much of a nag.

As I caught more references, I realized they often referred to adults as “extra” when they meant that they were rigid, judgmental, close-minded, and/or hyper-vigilant. The more I listened and observed, the more I realized that many of my peers and the older generations do tend to be a bit “extra” in those ways.

Of course, we can also be “extra” loving, supportive, and encouraging too, but I can’t say those things have been communicated to our kids nearly as much as the others.

Maybe our tendency to be “extra” comes from limited beliefs, fear, ignorance, or a lack of trust but I really think there is a lot we can all learn from the next generation (aside from their trendy slang and ability to contour their makeup).

Learning from young people sometimes becomes a grey area for many of us who have been raised to believe that the elders are the wise ones with all of the answers. While I agree that there is a certain amount of wisdom that comes with age, there is also a certain amount of insight that comes from young visionaries.

Youth leadership, activism, and empowerment has been debated at length lately as phenomenal young leaders are having a tremendous impact on politics while some of their peers are garnering just as much attention for eating Tide Pods and snorting condoms.

This contrast is actually a great place for us to start reflecting on our own beliefs and rigidity. If we focus on headlines, it would seem that there are two types of young people - brilliant well-spoken activists and the polar opposite, disturbed narcissists who will do anything for digital validation.

What about the vast majority of young people who don’t fit into either category?

Is it possible that such narrow observations and broad judgments might be deterring their powerful voices? I think so.

I’ve been working with teens in many different capacities for more than 15 years and one thing I can say for certain is that, as a whole, they are an untapped wealth of vision, compassion, energy, and enthusiasm.

As much as I love and admire the teens from the #NeverAgain movement, their visibility has made me want to work even harder to raise awareness and provide opportunities for other young people who are doing incredible things in other realms as well.

The good news is that, there is room for all of it. It is possible to be passionate about more than one thing and it is okay to feel strongly about things that are not making front-page headlines.

That just means that we need to do a better job of communicating empowering messages to ALL young people and it also means that we need to be a little more aware of the messages that we are sending to the next generation when we comment on current events or judge things that we might not fully understand.

Awareness, especially this type of awareness, can be a challenge for many of us because it requires us to dig deep and reflect on our own biases and beliefs, but I can’t imagine a more valuable lesson for our children than for us to show them what introspection looks like.

Is it more important for us to be right, to be in control, or to be superior in our adulthood? Or, is it possible that this generation has some things to teach us about who we are and how the world really works?

Regardless of how you answer those questions, they are worth a few seconds of our time because maybe, just maybe, our kids are going to give us the answers we are looking for and be the change we wish to see in the world. All we have to do is stop being “extra” for a few minutes, take a look at our own choices and mindset, and encourage them to use their voices in positive, productive ways.

If you have some young leaders, activists, or free thinkers in your world, encourage them to share their ideas! Here’s one incredible opportunity that is free and super empowering: Film Your Issue: Youth Speak, Leadership Listens.