What Teens Really Need for Back to School

If you ask a teen what they need before they go back to school, you’re likely to hear a list of the hottest fashion trends and latest gadgets or, at the very least, you’ll hear about a cool pair of shoes, a new backpack, and some sort of fun school supplies. 

I still get excited about new shoes and sharp pencils, so I will admit that I understand and even endorse SOME of the material hype this time of year.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good, express yourself, or fit in, but, based on the alarming rates of teen pregnancy, drug abuse, suicide, bullying, and harassment, those new kicks and that brand new smart phone aren’t the tools that will allow our kids to thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.

In order to help teens navigate major challenges and destructive decisions, there are five things we can share with the young people in our lives to empower them to create the best school year ever!

... there is also one important thing that we must do in order to share these key concepts effectively.  We must embrace each area and practice ourselves because people rarely learn from what we say, but they often (and usually) learn from what we DO.  Telling a teen to be calm, connected, compassionate, creative, and confident without showing them what those things look like is not only ineffective, it also sends a mixed signal that is confusing and frustrating.

Check out this social and emotional back to school list, let us know what else you’d add for the teens in your life, and be sure to read to the bottom because, as always...”there’s an oil for that!”

1. Calm

First and foremost, teens need tools to help them remain calm in the midst of constant change and frequent drama.  Just about every teen I’ve ever worked with is stressed out to an extent, many of them are combatting trauma, abuse, neglect, addiction and more, and most of them aren’t breathing.  While there are many different tools and techniques to help each unique scenario and I always encourage people to find the right professionals in extreme cases, everyone can find a little more calm by remembering to breathe deeply.  Breath is what keeps us alive but it can also help us thrive when practiced intentionally and as a part of a mindfulness practice.  For more information about teens and mindfulness, please check out Mindful.org and The Mindful Teen.

2. Connection

While many teens may argue that they need access to the latest smartphone, social media platform, or online gaming opportunity, the truth is that they are really seeking connection.  Ironically, really connections to self, to others, and to a bigger picture are becoming more and more difficult for young people as they navigate superficial digital relationships that leave them feeling badly about themselves and the world in general.  To help them shift their skewed perception, we need to show them what it is like to care for ourselves, connect with each other in person, and embrace our faith in ways that allow us to feel good.  Once we fill ourselves up and tap into the amazing connections on all three levels, that energy and those experiences become contagious and inspire all ages. 

3. Creativity

Creativity is an often untapped resource that helps teens feel connected and calm and it is another must-have element for back to school.  Many people confuse art and creativity, but I love Sir Ken Robinson’s definition that creativity is “the process of having original ideas that have value” because it combines imagination and innovation.  Creativity is a back to school resource that many public schools can’t provide because of mandates and data-driven accountability, but everyone knows that a society without innovation can never thrive so it is our responsibility to encourage the next generation to think outside the box, dream, play, and create.

4. Compassion

Most of the teens I’ve been blessed to work with are very compassionate, but it is a trait that can be fostered more as a way to allow young people to connect more deeply with each other, with the adults in their lives, and with the world around them.  Compassion is a key component for leadership and it is also an element that allows young people to navigate difficult situations and relationships by giving them perspective.  I love the term “bullyproof” that I learned from a new friend and fellow author this summer. Veenu Keller contributes to a movement and book with that title to help empower kids who experience bullying. I contend that we will have a lot more bullyproof people of all ages when we place more emphasis on compassion.  One simple way to do this each day is to encourage young people by telling them what TO do instead of what NOT to do - remind them to be kind instead of telling the not to pick on each other.  It may seem simple, but it can have a huge impact.

5. Confidence

In my experience, the number one thing that stops teens (and any adult who wants to empower them) from being calm, connected, creative, and compassionate is confidence.  This is by far the most difficult skill for me to practice and teach, but the truth is that each of the other crucial elements are partially contingent on this one.  It is socially acceptable in our culture to put ourselves down and to talk at length about our struggles and challenges, while talking about success, strength, and achievement is almost taboo and it is up to us to shift that for the next generation.  As much as I wish there was a magic confidence pill and as much as I feel supported and empowered by essential oils like Valor, the real change is going to happen from creating a new dialogue for all ages.  Start with a new approach to back to school this year where you foster confidence in yourself and others by talking about what is going right and allowing them to do the same.  Instead of commiserating about how bad you are at a particular subject or reflecting on the teacher or test that left the worst impact, turn things around and celebrate what you CAN do.  Teens who use their voice, celebrate there imperfections, and embrace their strengths radiate a confidence that inspires everyone to be and do a little more and that is the energy we need throughout the entire school year. 

Last but not least...”there’s an oil for that!”

Young Living™* essential oils can support all of the needs listed above and there are SO many great Young Living products that have uplifted and encouraged young people to ditch toxic thoughts and toxic relationships right along with environmental toxins.  Here are a few of my favorite oils for each of the five elements above:

Calm: Lavender, Stress Away™, and Present Time™

Connection: Inner Child™ (connect to self), Joy™/Harmony™(connect to others), Believe™/Oola Faith™/Frankincense (connect to God)

Creativity: Envision™ and all of the citrus oils

Compassion: Peace and Calming™, Oola Friends™, Acceptance™

Confidence: Valor™ and Valor 2™

What are your favorite tools and oils for empowerment?  Leave me a comment below and be sure to tag any #teenoilers or parents of teens!

 If you or someone you know is struggling in any of these areas, please reach out to learn more about upcoming talks, training, and coaching opportunities - [email protected]. 

*Not all essential oils are created equally or even regulated for that matter, so please be sure that you know where your oils are sourced from and how they are distilled.  I only trust Young Living™ for the needs of my family and my students.